


Funny Heart Noise

by BloodyFreckles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Barebacking, M/M, Top!Castiel, bottom!Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-29 04:32:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1000942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyFreckles/pseuds/BloodyFreckles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is on Dean watch. Dean doesn't want to be watched like a child, shit happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Funny Heart Noise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [televisionmouth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/televisionmouth/gifts).



> This is for my friend, pieofthetiger. I was all Gimmie something to write and I will write for you. So she gave me something. My prompts were a video camera, castiel's cellphone, burgers, and an apron. Then something about Dean making things hard for Castiel and I might have interpreted that wrong. So um *coughs.* Yes. XDD

Heaven is trouble, always going to be until he manages to somehow eradicate all the bullshit that's been happening lately. He's Michael's vessel, plain and simple, there's no way around it and Sam and Castiel are babysitting him like a fucking dog. They're trying hard to find Dean, trying to cut him deals so he'll say yes and really? Dean doesn't want to, doesn't want it to be a yes in his mind or his heart. It'll never be yes, so he doesn't know why these two buffoons won't let him out of their sight. 

They're squatting in a house that had a recent murder in it, the bloodstains are still all over the bedroom at the end of the hall. It's all one floor. The people who lived here was an amputee and his mother. They both died messily. The utilities are still on, even the cable and all the furniture is intact but it'll be taken out in a few days and they'll have to move again, to a motel somewhere but until then they'll reap all the benefits no matter how morbid that makes their little group. 

Castiel is sitting in the living room, watching tv and Sam is at his laptop, researching their next hunt. He put a call into Bobby earlier for some information and they're waiting on that call even though Dean can't leave with him. Which itches his balls something fierce. He's putting together a red nine, a gun he hardly uses but it's beautiful and needs cleaned despite that. So he dismembered it to remember it's feel and ridges like one would their old dancing shoes but Dean feels like his skin is too tight, strung up on wires. Sam and Cas are making him feel like he can't take care of him. Like a child in a playpen. It fucking reeks of preschool. He hasn't been there in years and doesn't want to be. He became a man the day his father put his baby brother in his hands and since then he's done the watching. 

Sam's phone rings on the table, vibrating against the wood and Sam picks it up. 

“Yeah? Bobby? Hey,” Sam says, typing away as the phone precariously sits between his jaw and shoulder. “Really? Great. I'll be there in a few hours.” Sam hangs up and closes his laptop. “Going to Bobby's.” 

“So, I heard,” Dean says evenly, wanting to reach across and strangle his brother, just a little bit. 

Sam raises both brows and puts his hand out. “You're not going. Give me the keys.”

Dean looks at Sam sullenly and produces the keys from his pocket. “Don't put a scratch on her or it's your ass.” 

Sam rolls his eyes and takes the keys, walking toward the door. “Cas. Keep an eye on, Dean.”

Dean turns to look at Cas in the living room, looking at Sam and he nods seriously, like this task is very important. Which Dean finds amusing because who wants to babysit a full grown man? He sure as hell wouldn't. 

As the impala peels out of the driveway, the engine rumbling clear into the distance. He grabs his jacket off the back of the chair and slips it on. “Going out, be back soon.” He hardly sees Castiel coming at him, suddenly in his space. 

“You can't leave, Dean,” Castiel says. 

Dean sighs. “Dude, I'll be fine. A walk won't hurt me.” 

Castiel frowns. “if I have to physically ensure you stay. I will.”

Dean's eyes narrow. “How will you make me?”

Castiel peers into Dean's face, which he finds uncomfortable. “My strength is limitless in comparison to yours. I if I have to tie you to a chair. I will.”

Dean just makes a frumpy face and moves away from Castiel and the door. Plopping back down in his chair. Returning to his prior task, he finishes the Red Nine re-assembling and moves over to cleaning and sharpening his knives. 

Castiel sits across from him, peering over at the items. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?,” Dean grunts, shining one of his favorites. A Brown handled bowie. 

“I am not aware of the process,” Castiel explains.

“I'm shining and sharpening my knives, keeping them in tip top condition. It's what you do when you continually hunt for a living,” Dean tells him, taking the sharpener over the very edges of the knife. 

“Can you show me?,” Castiel inquires, eyes intent on the blades. 

Dean raises his eyebrow, then nods. What the hell, let the angel do it. Won't hurt anything. He goes on to explain to him how to do it and in what way and Castiel takes to it with precise and methodical. Unlike Dean's more chaotic efficiency. After twenty minutes of them doing tyhis together. Dean puts down the last knife and speaks. “I'm going to use the bathroom.” 

Castiel nods and Dean leaves the room. 

He heads into the bathroom and locks the door behind him, walking over to the bathroom window and pushing it up far enough to get it open. He climbs out into the fresh air, surrounded by small trees and falls into the dirt, hands first and pushes up. Inhaling. God, he missed the outside. What he wouldn't give to ride around in the Impala right now and go sight seeing for a few. He walks off into the neighborhood, it's a little on the cold side. November in Indiana happens to be that way. He sees kids riding around on their bikes, girls playing hopscotch with drawn chalk. He goes around the block two times before he gets tired of seeing the same shit over and over again and heads back to the house. 

When he gets in, he smells the scent of sizzling beef and walks further inside the house right where the kitchen is and sees Castiel standing at the stove. “You can cook?” 

“I thought I told you not to leave, Dean. You should have never left. What is so hard to understand about that?,” Castiel says as he turns around and gives Dean a slight glare. 

Dean casts his eyes off to the side. “I'm back and in one piece.” He looks down, finally noticing the glaringly obvious pink Apron which has the word Barbie across the chest. “Are you wearing a barbie apron?” 

Castiel looks down, a peculiar expression on his face. “I didn't want to get grease on my clothes. The cooking channel said I should be wary of such things. … What's wrong with it?”

“It's Barbie, dude. The all American Dream girl of high expectations and crushed little girl souls when those expectations aren't met,” Dean explains. 

Castiel looks even more perplexed and Dean just shakes his head. “Nevermind, Cas.” 

Castiel makes the burgers almost a little too crisp but they're pretty good. Dean eats three in one go, piled high with pickles, tomatoes, lettuce and onions and he's still hungry without side dishes to go with them. 

“Come on, Cas. Eat a burger,” Dean prods, pushing his fourth burger across to him. 

Castiel looks down at the food, objectively and picks it up with his hands. He handles it delicately as if he's afraid it'll bite him and Dean watches in amusement as he takes his first bite and looks pleasantly surprised by the taste. 

“See, not so bad, right?,” Dean asks, grinning.

Castiel nods. “Not at all. It's very interesting. Delicious.” 

“Burgers always are, dude. They always are,” Dean says, proud that he got the angel to indulge. 

They retreat to the living room after dinner. Dean snatches the remote from Castiel, because while he enjoys a channel that walks the talk of food, he isn't sitting around and watching it all day when he can't go out and get whatever hits his craving spot. So he turns it on cartoon network, they're showing a rerun of Ed, Edd and Eddy. 

“It's colorful but I don't understand what these children are doing. Where are their parents?,” Castiel asks, tilting his head with an intense expression at the screen as he squints. 

“They live the life, man. No parents around to get in their business. Every kid's wank dream,” Dean tells him. 

Castiel furrows his brows and continues watching. 

Dean really wants time alone, wants some time to himself while Sam is away. He looks around, trying to think of an escape which bedtime would be it but he's not tired yet. His eyes land on Castiel's cellphone sitting on the end-table by him and he reaches forward, grabs it. 

Castiel snaps his head around, looking at him accusingly. “What are you doing?” 

Dean grins. “What's your voicemail password?”  
“4732. Why?,” Castiel asks, his pure innocence doesn't have a clue where this is going. 

Dean calls the voicebox, types in the password and listens to the robotic lady give him his options. “I'm going to change your voice message.” 

“Don't. It's important that my phone is professional for other human contacts,” Castiel warns him. 

Dean doesn't pay him any heed, he presses the option to change the message and says in his best gruff Castiel impression. “Hey, you've reached Castiel. I'm probably watching midget porn or dilly dallying around with my other scumbag brothers and sisters or I'm watching a grown man who doesn't need to be watched and I really need to- Damn, it cut off. Oh well, saving it.” 

Castiel sighs and reaches for the phone. “Dean, You're being a child. Give it to me.” 

“Will you go away for a few hours so I can have some alone time?,” Dean asks, holding the phone out of his reach. 

“You know I can't do that, Dean,” Castiel says solemnly, frowning. 

“Then it stays,” Dean says as he hits the accept button. 

“I can't believe your Michael's vessel,” Castiel says, looking away. 

“Hey, my middle name is Michael. It was going to happen anyway, right?,” Dean says with a smirk.

Castiel shakes his head, as Dean hands him back the phone.

\--------------------

Dean falls asleep, it's a good sleep and he's in the middle of a good dream as a leggy blonde smears pie all over her snatch and tells him if he's a good boy and eats his food, she'll let him dwaddle the promised land. Dean is moving forward, just about to taste when he hears something whirring in his ear and his eyes fly open to have a camera aimed at his face. He glares at the camera holder, who happens to be Castiel. 

“I've been using this for awhile now. It's very easy;.You should try it,” Castiel says, as the camera whirrs again and goes further into Dean's face. 

“Go away, Cas. I'm trying to sleep,” Dean says, shoving his hand at the camera, hoping it breaks but it does. Castiel just moves forward again. 

“I'm quite bored, Dean. I need something to entertain me. Television grows boring at this hour as I've learned. Infomercials were fun for a time but they become tedious as they try to sell you products you probably don't need,” Castiel rambles on. 

Dean groans and switches to the other side of the bed, away from Castiel's annoying ways but Castiel goes to the other side. 

“Dean. You've been asleep since ten, your body doesn't require that much of it,” Castiel tells him, as the camera is in his face again. “It's four in the morning now.” 

Dean's had it. He throws his legs over the side of the bed, and turns on the lamp. Light floods the room and he gets up in Castiel's face. He grabs the camera and tosses it, hoping the fucking thing breaks but it lands on the bed. “You may not need sleep but it's a very human thing. I need about ten hours of it to function and keeping me from it will only result in your balls getting chopped off.” 

Castiel looks at him expectantly. “I doubt the pain would be much. You would only be hurting my vessel in th end nad I am sure he will need those for his future endeavors.”

Dean narrows his eyes. “Oh, so you won't feel anything?” He grabs Castiel's crotch. “Feel this, Cas?” He squeezes and Castiel gasps, his blue eyes shining and darkening.

Dean blinks and feels Castiel harden. Smirking he speaks again. “Well, seems like you can feel it. Tell me you don't feel that?” 

“I am very aware of your hand on James' penis,” Castiel tells him as if he's talking to a petulant child. 

“Well, shit. Looks like I can rip off your balls,” Dean says darkly, squeezing a little harder.

“I ask that you not do that, because if you attempt then I am going to have to retaliate,” Castiel warns him, frowning. 

Dean raises his eyebrow, an idea occurring to him as he drops to his knees and looks up at Castiel, with a shit eating grin. Castiel looks down at him in confusion as Dean unzips his pants and reaches inside to take out his hardening cock. Dean licks forward at the tip and pulls back as he looks up. “Cas, I'm going to defile you if you don't leave me alone for a little while. I fucking mean it too. Bet God wouldn't be happy about you engaging in homosexual acts, right?” 

Castiel's eyes go half lidded and he pulls away, cock hanging out of his trousers. 

Dean smirks. “Going to leave me alone?” 

Castiel surprises the shit out of him, he pulls Dean off his feet by his shoulders, eyes intense as he is inches from Dean's face. Face contorted in anger. “God doesn't care, Dean. He doesn't care if I engage in sex of any kind and you'd just be giving me what I've thought about. What I want from you. Do you understand? So, don't go making threats that might give you more than you bargained for.”

Dean blinks, and rises to the challenge. “I'm so sexy even an angel wants me? Hardcore.” 

Castiel's face clouds with even more anger. “Don't test me, Dean.” 

Dean moves forward and grabs his cock again, strokes it for good measure and Castiel's breathing becomes harsh. He looks down at Dean's hand on his dick and then looks up again. “I'm warning you.”

Dean laughs. “Idle threat, huh? Not like you'll do anything. Guy standing here with your dick in his hand and you want to maim him?”

“Much more than that,” Castiel breathes. 

Dean let's go and laughs even harder. “How can you even know, dude? What would you do with me. You're a virgin.” 

Castiel looks at him very pointedly. “I'm not entirely ignorant of the ways of human beings. Much as you'd like to believe otherwise.” 

Dean shakes his head. “Leave me alone, Cas. I want to sleep without you waving a camera in my fucking face.” Dean goes to turn away and crawl back into bed, when Castiel grabs him by the arm and shoves him into bed. He makes an unmanly squeak. The next thing he knows, Castiel is crowding in between his legs and up in his personal space much more than usual.

“What the hell are you doing?,” Dean asks, bewildered. 

“I told you not to test me. You want to play games? Then we'll finish this round and maybe there will be other rounds,” Castiel hisses. 

Dean frowns. “The hell we are!” 

Castiel actually goddamn smirks. “There will be no hell about this. The only place I answer to is heaven. So, the heaven we are. We'll call that a resounding yes.”

Dean pushes up against his chest, but Castiel presses down, closing in and his lips press against Dean's, taunt and hard. Dean's trying to speak through it with protests but Castiel's tongue is slipping into his mouth and then he gives in, allowing Castiel to plunder and pillage his mouth. He's a better kisser than he would have expected. He explores the inside of his hot cave, kisses with reverence, with greed. Like he's trying to consume Dean's soul. 

Dean's hands come to press down on Castiel's shoulders nad then Dean manages to pull back from the kiss. “If we're doing this. There's too many clothes.” 

Castiel looks down in that strange way, that say sI'm looking into your head and seeing your life flash before my very eyes. He removes his trench coat and tosses it to the floor. Dean reaches underneath his shirt and helps pull it over his head. He moves forward to unbutton Castiel's pants and eyes glance down at the impressive hard on,he picked a pretty good vessel if you ask him. Castiel gets off the bed and shucks off the rest of his clothes, boxers and pants disappearing somewhere on the floor as Dean takes off his clothes in record time. 

They're both naked and Dean wants to laugh at the oddness of the situation. He's naked with Castiel, without clothes, in a bedroom, where they're planning on having sex. Yes, this is hilarious but he doesn't want to risk a full belly laugh and have the angel's wrath upon him. Instead he goes. “I saw vaseline in the bathroom cabinet if you want to go get it.” 

Castiel furrows his brows, a quizzical look on his face. “Why would we need vaseline?” 

Dean shakes his head. “You're not ignorant, huh?”

Castiel blinks and nods. “I see. I'll go retrieve it.” 

Dean lays there as Castiel leaves the room. It's been awhile since he's bottomed but he figures the angel should have his first time with his dick in Dean's ass. Even if it's going to suck big hairy balls. 

Castiel comes back a few seconds later, with a small tub and Dean reaches up, taking it from him. Castiel sits on the bed, as Dean opens the lid and slathers his fingers in the grease and then leans back to spread his legs and circle his entrance with a finger before pressing it in. It stings a little but that hardly matters, once he gets going, it'll be good. Soon he has two fingers pressed inside him, the stretch and burn is awesome as he slides his fingers in and out of himself. Castiel is staring at him hard, eyes intense and filled with lust. Dean is all kinds of turned on by it. Who figured the most annoying thing about Cas, could be the hottest? HE licks his lips and keeps his eyes locked on Castiel's as he let's out a breathy moan and sees the angel visibly shudder.

When Dean feel he's finished, he moves forward and gathers more vaseline on his hands, taking Castiel's weeping member in them and stroking it until it's covered in the stuff.His dick and Dean's hands shine in the lamplight as Castiel breathes hard, little cut off moans but he doesn't take his eyes off Dean's face. Dean flushes under the praise of his eyes.

“Now I'm to enter you anally, correct?,” Castiel asks, licking his lips. 

Dean snorts, laughs forehead falling against Castiel's shoulder. She shakes with laughter.

“Did I do something wrong?,” Castiel asks in a small voice.

“You're a mood killer. A straight up destroyer of my libido,” Dean replies honestly.

“Dean,” Castiel says firmly, patiently. “Is that what I'm supposed to do?” 

“Yes, Cas. You're supposed to pound my anus. Now come on, get up here,” Dean says as he lays back on the bed and spreads his legs. Castiel crawls up, less angry now and more of a curious, innocent look on his face. His knee suddenly rams into Dean's balls and Dean curses. “Ow, you son of a bitch! Watch the merchandise.” 

“Sorry,” Castiel says, all over the place.

“Go a little lower and keep on your knees,” Dean explains in a patient voice as his balls throb from ebbing pain. 

Castiel listens and stays where he is, at the perfect angle. Dean reaches forward and takes Castiel's hand to wrap around his dick and guides the head to his entrance. “Now, keep your hand there until you manage to get it inside and then press forward.” 

Castiel complies, the head pops in and Dean winces but then Castiel falls forward and flattens against Dean. His dick pops out.

Dean laughs, throwing his arm over his face. “Just forget it.” 

Castiel shakes his head, getting back up. “No, I am not forgetting this. We're doing it.” He says determinedly. 

“Then get serious about it,.” Dean tells him, as he watches Castiel move forward again. It goes in again and Castiel presses down until it's all the way inside. Dean grunts, adjusting to the girth. “You're way bigger than you looked.” 

Castiel breathes against Dean's neck, as he cranes his head down. “It feels... ah... it feels.” 

Dean chuckles breathlessly. “Come on, Cas. You can do this. Move.”

Castiel pulls out a little and slides back in. Dean helps him along by moving back then up, slamming up against his cock. It's sloppy and inexperienced but Castiel gets the hang of it and pistons his hips into his drive. Dean groans and moans, as Castiel picks up speed, slamming into him and going faster than he expected. Aren't angels supposed to be gentle creatures of god? Not man hungry fucking machines? Dean's legs come to wrap around Castiel's hips and his ankles come to settle at the bottom of his ass. He drags him in deeper, taking it further. 

Castiel is a watchful hush but Dean knows he's enjoying himself by the way is breathing is heavy, every now and then when he looks up into Dean's eyes, he's shocked to see the wave of emotions inside his blue orbs. Dean reaches down and starts jerking himself off. Biting at his lower lip and when he feels his orgasm start to build in his balls, along the base of his spine. Castiel bewilders him even further by kissing him once again, taking his bottom lip into his mouth and sucking on it. Dean comes then, spraying between them. Castiel comes a second later, making a cut off exhale as he does. Castiel slumps down against him, panting and Dean just lays there in the after glow. Waiting for the weirdness to set in. He just had sex with his pet angel and it's going to be awkward.

“Cure your boredom?,” He finally asks. 

“I need a shower,” Castiel says, leaning up. 

“Go take one then,” Dean says, not really caring eitherway. He just had sex, while not the best, it was still good sex and now he wants to sleep. 

“I will,” Castiel answers, as he rolls off the bed and starts for the bathroom.

“Save me some hot water!,” Dean calls after him. 

\------------------------

Things aren't as awkward as he was expecting. Sure, Castiel looks at him more. More intensely. It's starting to ruffle his feathers a little, but he'll get used to it. Sam came back over an hour ago and the evidence of their night together is no where to be seen. Thank god for small favors. 

Dean finally looks over at Castiel and snaps. “Stop staring at me, dude. It's weird.”

Castiel looks pensive, then looks back at the paper he's currently reading. 

Dean hears footsteps coming from somewhere to his left.

“So, Dean... Cas,” Sam's voice fills the room. 

Dean turns to see Sam standing there, with the camera in hand and he pales. 

“I noticed something odd in this video. Mind explaining?,” Sam asks, looking innocently at the two. 

“Uh, we were hit with sex pollen?,” Dean tries, coughing. 

“I was going to say Cas has a green mole on his ass but yeah, sex pollen? That's all you have?,” Sam questions with a smirk. 

“No, Dean was being a stubborn child,” Castiel says, putting down the paper.

“No, You were in my personal space and being more annoying than usual,” Dean argues back. 

Sam laughs. “I figured you you two would get around to it sooner or later but video taping it? That's kinky even for you Dean.” 

“Gimmie that!,” Dean cries, reaching for the camera.

“No way, it's black mail. My brother is a gay porn star,” Sam teases, smirking. 

Dean launches out of the chair. “I'll tear you apart, you little shit!”

Sam makes a turn and runs, laughing like a banshee.


End file.
